Breaking Ties
by G.D.Pastry
Summary: Breaking ties with Will Gardner isn't as easy as Alicia had imagined. Even Florrick, Agos, and Associates can't mark the end of Will and Alicia's mutual attraction. Not by a long shot. Set after s4 finale.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **OK so this is me officially joining our beautifully amazing TGW fanfic writers. I have been reading and reviewing for quite a long time around here but this is my first attempt at an actual TGW fanfic. So here it is and any reviews are completely appreciated! :)

Oh and my sincere thanks go to marysunshine81, my first friend here who is also an amazing writer and who so nicely pre-read this story for me :)

**Disclaimer:** I obviously don't own The Good Wife, or I wouldn't be sitting in front of my computer typing this. TGW and all the characters belong to the Kings and all the other TGW writers.

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**Chapter 1**

"Tomorrow, we tell the partners."

After sorting out the details of her new firm with Cary, Alicia felt her fatigue returning. She had been up all night the day before, and now, as she looked at her watch, she realized it was once again, well past midnight. Cary had suggested that they continue their discussion in a restaurant, after Alicia's kids came home and went to sleep. So Alicia had snuck out of her apartment minutes before the clock struck midnight. She remembered the last time she'd done that and realized with a start that it was during the time of her affair with Will. But this time, she had held her head high, resolved to sever all ties with Will Gardner, and forced herself to believe that Florrick, Agos, and Associates would help her do just that.

"Cary, you tell Will, I'll tell Diane." Alicia said now, determined she was making the right choice. She watched Cary's reaction and it was blatant he was confused, as he was obviously about to propose just the opposite.

"You…you sure, Alicia?" Cary hesitated a second before voicing his uncertainty, while also raising an eyebrow at the woman who sat opposite from him, his new business partner.

"Yes, Cary. You know this won't be pretty and I guess if I don't talk to Will, we can avoid the situation becoming," Alicia thought for a second and then finished her thought, "absolutely disastrous."

Cary paused, allowing Alicia to elaborate, but her eyes pleaded him to not question her lack of explanation. So out of respect for his business partner's personal life, he left it at that.

"Fine, I guess what you're saying is right. So tomorrow we bring all the resignation letters, including the other fourth-years and Robyn's, I don't want them to need to go through this. We bring it to them, tell them we're leaving, and we get out before they can start shouting. And later when they've calmed down, we can talk to them, but that's only if they want." Cary looked up, clearly looking for Alicia's agreement.

Alicia nodded slowly and then added, "Oh, also, I think we should tell them the clients we're," she hesitated on the word "stealing" and decided to restart her sentence, "We tell them which clients are coming with us."

At Cary's questioning gaze, Alicia forced herself to continue, "They deserve at least that, Cary. And we should have the decency to tell them, or at least hand them a list."

A short silence hung in the air as Alicia stared at the almost empty glass of wine in front of her. She wondered what Cary was thinking. He must feel some guilt in leaving Lockhart/Gardner. It was the very place he grew up, the place he strived to become as good a lawyer as he is now. But then again, Alicia reasoned with herself, it was understandable that Cary wanted to leave so badly. He was most definitely mistreated, being offered the partnership and then immediately having it taken away from him. When Alicia thought about it, she realized that _all_ the other fourth-years who were leaving with him had a reasonable incentive. But her, what she was doing now was just a betrayal. Nothing else. Her partnership had been given back to her, and though it was only because of Peter's campaign, she was still grateful.

Her gaze wandered to the empty seats around her and for the millionth time this evening, her thoughts returned to Will Gardner. What would he think of her leaving? Would he ever talk to her again? Would she even bear to look at him if he did, knowing what she'd done to him? God forbid, what if he forgave her?

"So, I'll see you tomorrow, Alicia?" Cary's voice penetrated Alicia's thoughts and forced her to return to the present.

Alicia willed herself to push the thoughts of Will out of her head. After all, that was what she was aiming to do when she agreed to Florrick, Agos, and Associates. Cary may not know it but the main reason behind Alicia's sudden change of mind was her need to sever all ties with their boss.

When Alicia looked up, she saw Cary standing up and looking at her with genuine concern.

"Are you OK, Alicia? Alicia, you know that if you still want to back out, you can. But right now's your last chance." Cary placed his hands on the table and reassured her, but anyone could see that Cary needed Alicia in his firm.

Alicia stood up, smoothed out her skirt and shook her head. "No, Cary, this is the right thing to do." She stared at him, knowing that this reassurance was not at all directed at Cary, but at herself.

They walked out the restaurant together but once out, they headed in opposite directions and Alicia was left to her own uncertain thoughts. She had just watched her last opportunity to reconsider her decision go down the drain and now, it was settled.

Alicia was to join her friend, competitor, and former enemy Cary Agos in his new firm. She was to become a name partner and although she put up a straight and determined face for Cary and the whole world, behind her façade, she was as insecure and scared as she could ever be.

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**A/N: I am most likely going to write more to this so when I do, I promise I'll update. Once again, any reviews are appreciated (whether you liked it or not, loved it or hated it, any of that).**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

As Alicia clutched her folder to her chest, she felt Cary's worried gaze on her. She fingered the smooth face of the folder, wondering what Will would think when he saw the contents – her resignation letter, a list of all the employees and all the clients coming with them. No, she told herself, she wouldn't think of Will. Besides, she was handing it to Diane, not Will, and she didn't care if that made her a coward, in addition to a traitor.

"Alicia, are you okay?"

Alicia fiddled with her hands, watched the number on the elevator rise and paused a second before answering. "Yeah, I guess…I guess I'm just nervous."

Cary inched a bit closer and stood beside her on the elevator, leaning casually on the back wall. Alicia turned to look at him, and try as she might, she couldn't for the life of her figure out how Cary could appear so calm. They were, in fact, a mere few minutes from arriving at their bosses' offices and handing them their resignation letters, and not forgetting the fact that by leaving, they were taking almost a third of Lockhart/Gardner's clients.

"Alicia, it's gonna be okay."

She didn't answer and Cary hesitated before asking, "Alicia, why don't I…why don't you give me the folder so you just need to hand in your resignation letter? I'll hand the lists to Will, along with the other associates' resignations." Upon seeing Alicia's uncertain gaze, he added, "It's fine, really."

Alicia slowly nodded after contemplating her young business partner. "Thanks, Cary." She took out her resignation letter and handed the folder to Cary.

After a few seconds of silence, Alicia spoke again. "I'm sorry, Cary."

He turned and met her sincere gaze with a confused expression. "What for?"

Alicia stifled a small laugh, "For not holding up as well as you are, for being so unsure about what we're doing, for being filled with so many doubts."

Cary sighed and in that frustrated yet sweet tone he always used with Alicia, he began, "Alicia…"

But right then the _ding_ of the elevator forced a halt to their conversation. Following Cary, Alicia stepped out into the familiar front lobby of Lockhart/Gardner. Together, they walked to the partners' offices and just before turning right to enter Will's office, Cary stopped and whispered a heartfelt, "good luck."

Alicia nodded, and took a deep breath before slowly opening the door to Diane's office.

"Alicia…" Diane beckoned and silently, Alicia cursed. Her boss, no, former boss, was in an unusually cheery mood. What a perfect time to drop the bomb, she thought.

Before Alicia could open her mouth to speak, Diane continued, "I was just heading out for some wedding preparations."

Alicia felt her heart stop a second. "Congratulations! You are marrying Mr. McVeigh?" she said after composing herself from her shock, bewilderment, and also frustration. Great, she thought, now it was even harder for her to say what she needed to say, knowing that it'd probably more than ruin Diane's cheerfulness.

"Yes," Diane replied laughingly, "Isn't it hard to imagine me marrying someone like him? A gun-loving Republican cowboy?" She leafed through some of her papers and continued, still laughing a bit, "Life really is hard to predict. 20 years ago, I would've laughed at the mere thought of getting married."

Alicia bit her lip before forcing a smile, something she was frankly very skilled at, considering the numerous times she'd been on TV, standing next to Peter, acting the role of the good wife.

She shifted her feet, looked at the ground and forced herself to get to the point. Taking a deep breath, she willed herself to carry through what she needed to say without breaking down.

"Here's my resignation letter. I'm leaving with Cary. We're starting a new firm. Cary's talking to Will. We made a list of the clients and associates that are coming with us. Cary's handing it to Will." Alicia looked up after saying everything in one breath. She watched as Diane's expression turned from confused, angry and then back to confused.

"Why?" Diane whispered. She was still recovering from the shock, Alicia knew. And Alicia also knew that there was no way she could tell Diane the real reason behind her leaving. Not without exposing an even bigger part of her complicated, no not even just complicated, more like undecipherable relationship with Will. Diane already knew enough about her partner and her associate, Alicia wasn't going to simply volunteer more information about them, or give Diane any more reason to resent her.

So after half a second of ambivalence, Alicia decided to simply not provide an answer and tentatively opened her mouth, "I'm sorry Diane, you were a great mentor."

Alicia slowly headed towards Diane's desk and gently laid her letter on top of her other stuff. Then, she walked to the door and when her hand was on the handle, Diane's voice finally reached her, "Alicia." She hesitated before turning back, resolving to receive Diane's words, whatever they were, with solemn understanding and grave acknowledgement.

"Alicia, I have nothing to say to you except that I am more than just disappointed in you. I never would have thought you'd be capable of doing something like this. Please pack your things and get out before Will comes charging at you, demanding answers, which for the record, I think he deserves. Oh and Cary, please tell Cary that…" Diane trailed off and Alicia took that as her cue to leave. She dared to sneak one last look at her former boss and mentor, and saw that Diane was staring out the window, with an unreadable expression that was probably more hurt than pissed.

As Alicia headed out the door, she found herself wondering the extent to Cary and Diane's relationship. Ever since she and Cary first joined Lockhart/Gardner, she couldn't pretend not to notice the special bond Cary and Diane shared. It was always something that Alicia couldn't quite figure out and now, she wondered how hurt Diane really was and whether she felt as betrayed as Will probably did.

As Alicia's thoughts reached Will again, she closed the door behind her, and when she looked up, her gaze unconsciously met that of Will's. Cary was passing him some papers and obviously saying something, but Alicia could tell Will wasn't listening. He was staring at her, and his eyes and posture told her that he wasn't pissed, wasn't mad, but just shaking his head with despair and lack of understanding. His fixed stare on Alicia wasn't accusing, but when Alicia really looked, she saw that for the first time, Will Gardner was broken down and hurt.

She shuddered as it dawned on her that it was her who did that to him. She quickly broke his gaze, bowed her head and walked straight to the elevator. She quickened her pace as she got nearer and wished the elevator to hurry up. Her need to get away from her old firm and Will grew even stronger when she entered the empty elevator and leaned back on the wall. In her rush, she suddenly realized she had forgot to pack up her stuff and pulled out her phone to text Cary. She wasn't about to step out of the safe haven of the elevator and head back in Lockhart/Gardner.

After sending the text, she closed her eyes for a second and when she opened them, she felt rather than saw someone forcing the doors open when it was half-closed. It was Kalinda.

Alicia turned and was about to say something when she found that there was nothing she could say to the other woman, her former friend and former co-worker.

In the end, it was Kalinda who broke the silence. "So," she tapped her pen on her ever-present mini notebook. "You're leaving with Cary?"

Alicia didn't bother to ask how she knew, but merely nodded, refusing to say anything else.

Just as Alicia predicted, then came the second question. "Why?"

Alicia sighed and was in the process of formulating another lie when she figured that there was nothing to lose in telling Kalinda the truth. Plus, Kalinda was bound to figure it out anyhow.

"Will and I kissed. Again."

At this, Kalinda turned and Alicia felt the other woman's complete attention on her.

"I can't work with him anymore. I'm leaving with Cary because I need to break all my ties with him." Alicia sighed again and watched Kalinda for a reaction, though she knew look as she might, she'd never figure out what Kalinda was thinking.

"OK," Kalinda paused, waiting for Alicia to continue.

Alicia shook her head, silently communicating that she had nothing else to add. But then she realized with a start that Kalinda could actually help her. "Kalinda, can I ask you a favor? Could you tell Will what I just told you? He's probably waiting for answers."

Kalinda was quiet for a moment but then Alicia saw the unmade mind turn to form a resolute decision. "No, Alicia, I think you need to tell him yourself. He deserves to hear it from you, in person."

As the elevator door opened and Kalinda headed out with one last look at Alicia, Alicia opened her mouth to ask about the something that was evidently up with the other woman and Cary. But then she felt her exhaustion and need of alcohol returning and walked towards her car with her mouth shut.

Right then, Alicia's phone rang and thinking it was Cary, she answered without looking at the caller ID.

"Alicia?" She recognized the voice on the other end in less than an instant. It was Will. She couldn't cope with talking to him, not right now when she was almost in tears. So she whispered a "sorry," that she couldn't even be sure he could hear, pulled the phone away from her ear and pressed a finger on the red button to end the call.

She entered her car and when she sat down and closed the door, she set her head down on the steering wheel and allowed her tears to flow freely.

When she finally lifted her head, she saw Cary heading her way, carrying a huge box under each hand. She wiped away her tears and reached for her phone.

Scrolling through her contacts, she hesitated before clicking on Owen Cavanaugh. When the call went through, she put her phone to her ear and before Owen could open his big mouth, she uttered, "I think I screwed up," and hang up before leaning back with another sigh.

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**A/N: Thanks for the reviews everyone. And sorry I think this chapter went a bit longer than planned. But I do hope you enjoyed :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"Owen," Alicia opened her apartment door to reveal the forever-expectant face of her brother, "you didn't have to come all the way here."

She watched in dismay as Owen casually invited himself in and with a cheery yet still mocking grin, turned to her, "Yeah, sis, and miss the latest juicy gossip of your oh, so very interesting love life?"

Alicia gave her brother her death glare, infamous since Georgetown, and all of a sudden she was reminded of her law school years, when the lucky receiver of her glare was most always Will Gardner. Instantly though, she scolded herself for thinking of him and forced herself to focus on the present.

"Owen…" Alicia began. But Owen, seeing that Alicia was unsure of how to finish her sentence, interrupted.

"What? Sis, keep in mind that you called me and said, in your exact words 'I think I screwed up' and then hang up. What, do you just expect me to ignore it and pretend nothing happened?"

Alicia gave an unnecessarily loud and exasperated sigh, just to prove her point, before answering, "It was a spur-of-the-moment thing, Owen, which you'll obviously never understand. But yes, that was what you should've done."

Owen laughed and took off his coat. As he headed towards the liquor cabinet, Alicia couldn't help but shake her head with amusement. It was so like her brother to offer her alcohol when he knew she wouldn't tell him anything. So still chuckling slightly, Alicia walked over to the table and stood opposite her brother.

"Here, sis, have some wine." Again, Alicia couldn't help but let out a chortle, seeing her brother give his best innocent smile. But nevertheless, Alicia obliged and took a sip from the glass in front of her.

"So, let's talk about what you meant when you said you screwed up," Owen led Alicia to the sofa, where they plopped down next to each other.

Alicia took another sip of her wine, and shook her head, laughing at her brother's failed attempt to delve into her personal life, which for the record, she thought he already knew enough about.

"Did you know that Mom's new boyfriend is even younger than her last one?" Alicia looked her brother in the eye and purposefully changed the subject. She knew that sometime that evening, her brother would probably get his way and learn everything, but she resolved not to go down without a proper fight.

Alicia watched in delight as her brother sighed and allowed the conversation to turn to their mother. But after a while, as he saw his sister drink the last of her wine, he told himself it was time.

Alicia regarded her brother funnily when he casually took a sip and spoke, "So, sis, how's work?" Another casual sip, and then, "And Will?"

Alicia poured them both some more wine with a smile and she couldn't help but speak her thoughts. "God, you're getting so good at this, Owen." At her brother's proud grin, Alicia decided to answer his question. After all, it was only her innocent little brother, wasn't it? She looked at her wine and thought how it was the one thing that could get her to think of something other than Will and Lockhart/Gardner, but now it was the very thing to get her talking about him and her messed-up situation again.

"Work's fine, Owen. But I'm not working with Will anymore. Cary and I started a new firm – Florrick, Agos, and Associates."

Alicia waited for a response but instead was given a picture of her brother's brain spinning. When it seemed like it finally slowed, Alicia saw that her brother looked delighted with himself, as if he had just figured out a part of a puzzle.

"Ah, let me guess. There was another kiss or something, and you had to break your ties with Will, so you left? And now you're feeling guilty 'cause you betrayed him and uh, you still can't stop thinking about him?" In an undertone Owen added with a knowing smile, "that's romantic," before continuing, "And so you told me you screwed up."

Alicia almost choked on her wine before scrutinizing her brother closely, ignoring, as always, his brother's little remarks here and there. "How did you…how did you figure all that out with just two sentences from me?" No matter how hard Alicia tried, she could not recall saying anything that could lead her brother to such an accurate conjecture so fast.

Owen shrugged and put on a sly smile, "Mathematics and wine, deadly combination, I guess."

Alicia rolled her eyes and shook her head in frustration. It annoyed her how her brother could pick up the progressions in her life, especially love life, so easily. It also annoyed her how much she always ended up telling her brother, despite always being determined not to. And yet, sighing, Alicia realized once again, she had let her life unfold and Owen had filled in the incomplete parts of the story she told.

"OK fine, you're right Owen. What you said was exactly right. That's exactly the situation. Now would you like to offer some of your always-helpful advice?

"Of course, sis. You need to go with Peter, forget about Will. Take a vacation, go on that trip to Hawaii with Peter and have a good time, that'll take your mind off Will."

Alicia leaned forward and placed her knuckles under her chin, a position that she remembered Will used to call "her sexy thinking posture". But before she could kick herself for thinking of him, she heard Owen continue.

"Alicia, you need to follow your heart. After all, staying with Peter would ensure that you remain the good wife, which if I remember correctly, you cared a lot about."

Alicia could not believe her ears. She put on an expression of mock fascination, "Wow, Owen, your opinion sure does change fast. Follow my heart? That was exactly what you said a year or so ago when you were pushing me towards Will. And remaining the good wife? You used to tell me how ridiculous that idea."

Owen feigned an expression of hurt and scrunched up his brows, the way their mother always did. Defensively and in a challenging tone, he said, "What, so I can't change my opinion now, sis?"

Suddenly, the ringing of a phone startled Alicia from formulating a clever response. She watched in impatience as Owen fished out his cell, looked at the caller ID, shook his head and answered.

"Hi, mom."

_Mom? _Alicia was bewildered. She made a face and gestured wildly at her brother, mouthing, _what does she want?_

Owen shook his head to silence her and listened intently to the woman they called mom on the other end. "No, mom, I'm at Alicia's." Alicia sat up straighter when she heard her name and again, gestured confusedly at Owen.

"No, mom, we were just having a conversation about…" Owen grinned impishly at Alicia and she almost pounced on him, realizing he was about to tell their mother about what was going on in her life, _again_. But as Owen saw his sister glaring at him menacingly, he laughed silently and instead, finished his sentence thoughtfully, "things."

Alicia visibly relaxed and sat back in her sofa, taking another sip from her wine. She watched as Owen strained to hear what their mother was saying and when he finally understood, replied, "Oh, I was just telling her how she should stay with Peter."

Alicia instantly stiffened in anger and would've made a grab at Owen's phone had he not pulled away in mock fright. Alicia sighed and put a hand to her forehead in resignation. It wasn't like she could very well cover her brother's mouth with her hand right then.

"Mom…I told you already. I think Peter's changed…" Alicia stared at her brother in disbelief and signalled threateningly for him to hang up.

"OK mom, Alicia's telling me to hang up. Bye…" Alicia sighed in relief, but when she saw her brother put down his phone, she had to force herself to stay put and not jump on him.

"What the hell was that, Owen?"

To Alicia's great annoyance, his brother replied to Alicia's angry question with a calm grin. But when Alicia lowered her chin to stare expectantly at him, he opened his mouth, but obviously stifling a laugh.

"Oh nothing, mom was just expressing her very inaccurate opinion."

Alicia looked at him, "An opinion can't be inaccurate…"

But Owen was ready, "But that's just your opinion…."

Alicia sighed in frustration but pressed on after shaking her head in mock disgust, "So what's her very inaccurate opinion then?"

"That you shouldn't renew your vows with Peter and you should go with Will." Alicia let out an angry breath through clenched teeth but before she could say anything to criticize her mother's constant meddling, Owen stopped her. "Which is plainly just stupid, I already had this conversation with her."

"You…what?"

"Well it was more like a debate than a conversation…" Owen answered and pursed his lips, as if deep in thought.

"Oh my gosh Owen…you have got to be kidding me," Alicia stood up shakily from the sofa and paused. "OK, you know what," she headed towards the kitchen with their two wine glasses, "I'm gonna get us some more wine."

"Sure, sis."

As Alicia was opening the door to her liquor cabinet, she was astonished to hear the doorbell ring. Her kids were both at sleepovers and as for Peter, she wasn't sure but she knew he wasn't coming back soon. She straightened up to head to the door but heard Owen call, "I'll get it."

So she stayed where she was, and slowly poured some more wine. She strained to hear Owen and whoever was at the door, but try as she might, she couldn't. And to her surprise, it was only a few seconds before she heard Owen close the door and head back to the sofa.

She carried the full wine glasses and sat beside Owen. "Who was that?"

Owen took his glass and replied slowly, after a sip, "Will."

Alicia almost choked and spat out the liquid. She coughed a few times and turned to her brother. "What…" She slowly regained composure, "What did he say?"

Owen said nothing for a few seconds.

"Owen…"

"Nothing, he didn't say anything. So I told him that you didn't want to talk to him and I closed the door."

Alicia put down her wine glass with a clank. "Owen, I think it's time you get out of here. I'm talking to Will tomorrow."

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**A/N: I hope Owen didn't seem OOC, I was determined to have him in my fic just for a little while 'cause he's simply such an amazing character!**

**As always, reviews are appreciated! :)**

**Right, and, I might not be able to post the next chapter very soon as it's gonna need some time figuring out and I'm kind of busy lately :(**

**Anyway, hope everyone enjoyed this chapter :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Walking through the dark corridors of Lockhart/Gardner, Alicia was suddenly hit by how much she missed the place. It hadn't even been a week since she left, and yet when she peeked at her old office and saw another lawyer on the phone, slowly packing her computer and folders away, she felt a pang of sadness and even something like a twinge of regret.

But when she sensed the lawyer look her way, she quickly turned away and headed towards the partners' offices. As she walked, she looked around, and was relieved to see that there were barely anyone left, and those that were, were definitely soon to leave, obviously not wanting to be the last left in the dark.

She checked her watch and saw that it was only two minutes until seven thirty, the time she had told Will she would meet him in his office. Will, of course, had said that if she wanted to talk, they could do it in his apartment, but Alicia had insisted on the safety provided by his workplace, explaining to him that if they talked in his office, it would be less likely for them to end up like they had in his car on Election Night. What she purposefully neglected to say though, was that there was a part of her that wanted them to, despite all the sacrifices, betraying him on the top of that list, she made in the effort to break ties with him.

As Alicia neared his office and saw him sitting on the couch, baseball in hand, head turned towards the window, she couldn't help but smile. When she finally got up the nerve to knock on his door and he turned around to meet her gaze, she realized that all her doubts about this meeting vanished. All her previous worries about him being still pissed, about what to say when he refused to talk to her, about how to explain the fact that she left to end everything between them but still insisted on coming back to talk to him, probably just because she couldn't suppress the need to see him again. Those worries were still there, and Alicia knew better than to assume Will would just forgive her for everything, but when she saw him, she just couldn't control her feelings anymore and all those worries seemed so small and insignificant in comparison. Standing there, she couldn't even see his face clearly, but to her, it felt exactly like that unforgettable night back in Georgetown, when she first saw him at a distance and was introduced to him later at that stupid party. Hell, it was like falling in love with him all over again.

When Alicia saw Will nod at her, she hesitantly turned the knob and stepped into the familiar interior of his office. He gestured for her to sit, and she did, but noticeably at the couch furthest away from where he was. She didn't do it intentionally, because it was just her Alicia-side kicking in, instantly in complete control of her feelings just a minute ago. She knew the purpose of this visit was to make it clearer to him that they needed to stop whatever they were, so despite having to push against the strong signals from her heart, she forced herself to remain on track.

"I…" Alicia slowly began and had to reassure herself again that she could say all the she needed without breaking down, right in front of him. "I guess I came here to say that I'm sorry. You probably already figured out why I left with Cary," She looked up at Will inquiringly.

But to her surprise, Will shook his head. "No, I didn't. I have a vague idea but please, Alicia, enlighten me, what was so important that made you have to leave me, taking away almost a third of our clients and completely screwing my firm, might I add?"

Alicia gulped and looked at her feet, but had she had the nerve to look up and meet Will's gaze, she would have saw that right then, he was even more apprehensive than her, if that was possible. She would have saw Will fighting with himself about whether to apologize for what he had just said. But Alicia hadn't looked up, and before Will could make up his mind, Alicia rushed to an explanation.

"I'm sorry, Will. You have to believe me when I say that," Alicia fiddled with her hands and took a deep breath before saying out loud what she'd been practicing in her head for so long. "I think your vague idea is probably right. I…I left because I needed to break my ties with you. After that kiss in your car, I…I just had to. I'm sorry."

Alicia watched as Will visibly tensed and processed this information in silence. To Alicia's surprise, Will didn't stand up and shout at her. Finally, he nodded slightly and leaned back, putting his head gently on the back of the couch, without a word. After a while, Alicia began to wonder if he'd say anything and she was almost taking it as her cue to leave when at last, Will leaned forward to look at her and spoke.

"Alicia, that night, I told you we needed to talk. Couldn't you have waited after we talked? We could've figured everything out," Alicia stared at Will and couldn't believe how well he was suppressing his anger, which had to be there somewhere. She flinched when Will added as an after thought, "without you leaving a mess at Lockhart/Gardner, without that preventing Diane from becoming Illinois Supreme Court Justice and without us becoming not just enemies on court but also in life."

Biting her lip, Alicia said, "Will, I don't want us to become enemies."

"Then what? What do you want us to become? Since you obviously decided that we weren't worth fighting for and you had to in your words, break your ties with me. Wouldn't it be easier to achieve that if we just became enemies?" Will stood up and Alicia held back her tears at the unmistakable hostility that leaked from his voice.

"Will, I care about you… I care about you so much more than you ever give me credit for. Please, I don't want us to become enemies." Alicia desperately pleaded but knew that that was all it was, just a desperate plea.

Will stopped pacing around the room and turned to look at her, "How can you even sit there and say that? How could you just betray me like that, after all I've done for you, after all we've been through?" Will sighed and then continued pacing. "How could you hurt me like that, after all that Peter's done to hurt you, you should know how it feels. Why would you do this to me?"

The mention of Peter sparked off a sliver of anger in Alicia and she couldn't even figure out why. She was in no place to be angry; She wasn't the victim here, she was the one who threw the bomb. But nevertheless, she stood up to face Will.

"Will, what was I supposed to do? What could I have done? I couldn't stand working with you anymore, it was just too much, okay? So what should I have done, Will?"

Only after her last word had left her mouth, did she notice how close she was to Will. She looked at him and it seemed to her that he had just noticed as well. They were certainly close enough for her to lean forward and kiss him. And when that thought entered her mind, she knew she wouldn't be able to resist the urge. So for once, she didn't, and not thinking at all about where their conversation had left off and how she came here to make a clean break, she leaned forward and kissed him. She was aware that she had just abandoned all her previous efforts in the moment, but when she felt Will's lips on hers, hesitant at first, but obviously returning her desire, she couldn't conjure even a tiny bit of regret. And this time she was sure, it _was _like falling in love with him all over again.

But as quick as that feeling came, it was gone. Will pulled back and she stumbled backwards a little. She bit her lip in frustration and felt a tiny bit of fright at how much she enjoyed that kiss. She was almost out the door when Will called her to stop.

"No, Alicia. You can't leave again. We're talking about this, right now, right here." At Alicia's silent plea with her eyes, he repeated again, even more determined, "Alicia, I won't let you leave like that, not again. You can't expect me to decipher everything that happened tonight by myself. One second you were telling me how you needed to break ties with me and the next you were telling me that you cared about me and the next you kissed me. Alicia, I deserve to have this talk with you."

Alicia paused at the door for another few seconds but finally succumbed and walked back to the couch she had sat on. She composed herself before looking straight at Will.

"Will, there's not much to talk about. I already told you, I did this to break my ties with you and I'm intending to continue to carry that out. And if that means you're gonna hate me forever," Alicia paused and took a deep breath before compelling herself to say what she knew must be said, "then so be it."

Will was silent for a second before saying, "Alicia, I'm not gonna hate you forever, you know that. But this…" he gestured to the empty space around them and sighed, "I won't be able to forgive you that easily. Before, all you've ever done to me is break my heart, but this time, you're leaving me, in addition to that, a broken firm."

Before Alicia could produce a reply, Will looked down at his hands and spoke again. "But, there's one more thing, Alicia." He looked up at her expectantly and at her confused but slight nod, continued.

"I need to know this is truly what you want. I need to know that you're really sure of this choice. Alicia, I know you still have some feelings for me, though I may not know what exactly they are. And since you obviously want to pretend that kiss never happened, I won't force you to talk about it. But I need to know this is really what you want." Alicia opened her mouth to say, or more accurately, to lie, that it was, but before she had the chance, Will stopped her and forced himself to tell her the rest of what he wanted to say.

"Before you say that it is, I…make sure you're absolutely positive. Because if you decide to come back to me after things have calmed down a bit, I don't think I'll be able to…" He trailed off and paused for a second. "After all this, all you've done to me, I don't think my wounds will ever heal properly. So I may not hate you but I won't be able to love you like I used to. I'm sorry."

Alicia looked down at her feet and held her tears in, like she always did. She couldn't cry, not right then, not when it'd make him understand how much she really cared for him. Not when she was supposed to say yes, she was sure, and permanently eject him from her personal life.

So, she stood up straight and told herself to get out before she couldn't control her tears anymore. "I'm sure, Will. And you don't have to be sorry, I'm sorry, for hurting you and for everything." Without another word, she headed to the door but when her hand was poised over the knob, she slowly turned around and said the thing she had wanted to say ever since deciding to meet him the day before, "I'll miss you, Will."

She turned back before she could search for a reaction on Will's face and this time, really headed out the door without another word. She quickened her pace after she had closed the door and the tears started flowing freely. As she neared the front desk, she was hit by the sudden urge to just turn back and kiss him again. But she forced herself to continue walking, take the elevator down, find her car, and to go home.

* * *

Will stayed in his couch for a long time after watching Alicia leave. He knew that most of what she said were lies and some of what he said were too. And yet, he did not go after her. He sat there and tried in vain to figure out why he had been so reminded of the first time they had met when she had just arrived, standing outside his door. He remembered how beautiful she had looked in that red dress, arriving at that stupid party, and how she had instantly brought him out of his boredom. He remembered how she made his urge to leave the stupid party dissipate at once and how all he had wanted was to be given the chance to drown in her eyes.

Now, as he closed his eyes, he saw the image of her standing there, outside his door, clear as if she had never left. He stared into the image of her in his mind and realized, _Hell, it was like falling in love with her all over again._

* * *

__**A/N: So I hope you enjoyed this chapter! And I do hope Will didn't seem OOC, it's my first time writing him. Oh, and please review, I'd be ever so glad! :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Sorry for the short chapter, I just figured out how to continue my story. Well, hope you all enjoy and as always, don't forget to review! :)**

* * *

**Chapter 5**

Alicia closed the apartment door slowly behind her and quietly entered her bedroom. Taking off her high heels, she grimaced when she saw the blisters on her feet. She brushed her teeth but as she was taking off her clothes to get in the shower, she finally felt the full hit of exhaustion on her and decided to just change into her pajamas and slip under the soft inviting covers of her bed.

It had been almost two weeks since that evening ending with Will, as she had come to call it. She couldn't exactly say she regretted what she did and how she ended things, because she sure as hell didn't feel even a sliver of regret for the kiss, though as for what she said, what lies she had to say to end things, she couldn't be so certain. She didn't know if her saying yes, she was sure, had ended absolutely everything she ever had with Will, and if even the last hope of an ordinary friendship was also blown to pieces. The worst part was that if it was, she knew that she was the person who did all the blowing to pieces. She had no right to be upset and ask for anything, not unless she could gather the courage to throw herself out there for him and take the chances, which she knew she couldn't do, not just yet.

This nonstop pondering of her situation and the around-the-clock unwanted replay of the conversation she had with Will in her head, added with the stress caused from creating her new firm, she hadn't had a good night's sleep in a while. And just when she turned over with a sigh in her bed and felt herself succumbing to sleep, she heard her phone ring.

She nearly jumped out in fright and surprise then sighed when she saw the Caller ID.

Annoyed, she sat up in her bed and answered the call.

"What is it, Peter? Do you know what time it is?" She spoke, slowly and groggily, rubbing her eyes with her free hand.

"Sorry, babe. It's late but Eli was just telling me my schedule for the next couple of weeks. Turns out there's even more speeches and meetings and galas and conferences that I have to attend than I anticipated," Alicia heard him sigh but didn't say anything, waiting for him to continue.

"So I was wondering if we could renew our vows a little earlier. Maybe this weekend?" Alicia almost choked but again, stayed silent. "My secretary can get the tickets to Hawaii very soon, and we can start packing tomorrow." Peter paused, waiting for Alicia to concur, but right then, she just didn't want to conceal her frustration with him again.

"God, Peter, couldn't this have waited till tomorrow? For heaven's sake, it's the middle of the night, you know." What she neglected to add though, was that she just didn't have the heart to deal with whatever it was he had to say right then.

Silence. And then, Peter's voice, exasperated, "Alicia…"

Alicia shook her head, irritated by Peter's discontent, and hurriedly said, wanting to end this conversation as soon as possible.

"I'm sorry, Peter. It's just that it was late and running your own firm is extremely stressful. Things are still during the 'all hell breaking loose daily' stage," she paused to slide down in her covers a bit and added, "Look, I'll think about it, OK?" before hanging up, not giving Peter a chance to respond to her indecision.

As she put her phone away and lay awake in her bed, with no sound other than the beeping of cars in the still busy Chicago roads, she felt the aggravations of being First Lady of Illinois seeping into her bones. Why did she have to apologize to Peter when he was the one who called her in the middle of the night, just to tell her about his need to advance the date of the vows renewal? She sighed and wondered for the millionth time, what she had done to deserve all this.

Not even ten minutes later, Alicia was startled out of her thoughts, again by the ringing of her phone. As she reached for it, she assumed it was Peter again and sighing through clenched teeth, she decided to hang up at once after the call went through. But when she actually looked at the Caller ID, her immense surprise caused her to sit up straight at once, banging her head non-too lightly on the wall in the process.

It was Will.

As she gently rubbed her head, ignoring the pain, she stared at his name and try as she might, she couldn't describe what she felt right then. Something like a mix of curiosity, anxiety, and expectancy. And more importantly, happiness and an idiotic cheerfulness like she had never experienced when getting calls from Peter.

So she waited a second but immediately after, raised her phone to her ear and let it go through, waiting for him to speak.

"Hi, Alicia," she thought that she could feel his hesitancy and resisted the urge to reassure him. "Sorry," he paused, "I hope I didn't wake you…"

"No…it's fine," she paused, "I was awake."

A few awkward seconds of silence and then, a small laugh, "To be honest, it took me a while to get up the courage to call you."

She smiled and felt herself blush like a teenager. Meanwhile, he took her silence as a cue to continue.

"There was something I wanted to tell you," another pause, "ever since you said you needed to break your ties with me. I think I need to tell you."

Despite Alicia's curiosity to know what it was, she felt a pang of sadness and guilt when he heard how despondent Will's voice was when he mentioned the part about her breaking ties. But still, her curiosity and surprise got the better of her.

"You want to tell me right now?"

"No, no," He rushed to answer, "I was thinking…maybe we could meet up at that café around the corner of…of Lockhart/Gardner? Tomorrow at seven?" Again, Alicia could feel his hesitancy but nevertheless, she said yes.

"OK, tomorrow at seven. I'll see you then."

"Sure, see you then."

Silence.

"Goodnight, Alicia."

"Goodnight, Will."


	6. Chapter 6

******A/N: I don't know, it feels like my story is just going worse and worse. Sorry if I'm disappointing anyone :(**

* * *

**Chapter 6**

The next day at seven sharp, Alicia walked in to the café and didn't even have to look for Will. Of course, he was at the small round table they used to sit, back when it was normal for them to do things like such. So walking slowly but as she hoped, confidently, she reached where he was and took a seat opposite him.

He nodded at her with a slight smile, and she returned it, although tentatively. As he ordered two coffees, Alicia couldn't help but notice how nervous he was. And for the millionth time that day, she couldn't help but wonder what was so important that he had to tell her. It had been weeks, after all, since what had happened in his office, and she was sure that if was about that, he'd have talked to her much earlier.

When their coffee came and the waitress left, they succumbed, once again, to silence. Neither of them said a word. And as Alicia started to doubt if Will would say anything or if he would just let them sit there awkwardly for the whole time, he looked her in the eye and opened his mouth.

"Alicia…"

At her name, she leaned forward, putting both hands on the table, expectantly waiting for what he was going to say next. But there was nothing.

Alicia looked curiously at him, and she was sure she couldn't remember the last time she'd seen him like that. He was staring down at his coffee, fingers drumming slowly on the rim. Then, as he saw Alicia gazing at him, he bit his lip, returned her look uncertainly for a second, but then immediately continued tapping his fingers nervously. _God, he really is unsure about what he wants to tell me,_ Alicia couldn't help but think.

So Alicia took a deep breath, and started speaking her random thoughts, hoping it'd give Will some time to get his act together.

"I was up all night yesterday wondering what it could be you wanted to tell me today. And yet, I still didn't figure anything out."

She paused, and he was still staring at his coffee, so she continued.

"It's so much work, running our firm. At the start, Cary wanted us to have a drink at the end of each day but turns out, neither of us has even a minute to spare for that. We need a bookkeeper, a mailman, a receptionist, more assistants, and God, we don't even have a coffee machine…"

She trailed off as she realized he was still utterly unresponsive. She sighed exasperatedly, she couldn't keep on rambling, waiting for him to speak. So shaking her head, she decided to give it one last try and if he still didn't tell her what he was supposed to, she'd leave. But as she opened her mouth, she didn't see that he did as well, so she continued and he shut his mouth.

"Look, Will, if this is about that night. I'm really sorry, I don't think we need to go over this again. I have kids, Peter's now Governor, I'm First Lady of Illinois, Zach's going to college, and I just can't stand seeing you at work everyday. Oh and on top of all that, Peter's asked me to renew our vows and I said yes and he wants us to go this weekend."

With a shock, she suddenly stopped. She hadn't even realized she had slipped the vows renewal thing out until then. So she bit her lip, fingered the untouched coffee cup and stayed silent, watching for a reaction. But to her surprise, he didn't seem the least bit taken aback and only lifted his head slightly, saying something so softly she had no clue what it was.

"I'm sorry?"

This time, Will really looked up, seemingly out of his reverie, or whatever it was.

"Oh, I just said that I knew."

Alicia raised her eyebrow, baffled, "What…what do you know?"

Will frowned, seemingly as confused as Alicia was. "You renewing your vows with Peter, of course. What else would I mean?"

Alicia almost jumped up from her seat. She definitely did not recall ever volunteering that piece of information to Will before.

"What? How did you know?"

"Your…uh, your mother paid me a visit that night during your interview with Charlie Rose."

Now Alicia was even more bewildered. "Veronica?"

Will nodded grimly and Alicia suddenly felt anger seeping through her. Of course her mother would have something to say, of course. She clenched her teeth and asked herself why she hadn't predicted something like that. After all, it was Veronica and Veronica was just…well, Veronica. But before she could say anything, Will spoke, apparently finally mustering the courage to say what he planned to.

"But, that's not what I came here to tell you, Alicia," she forced herself to calm down and resolved to keep a straight face through whatever he was going to tell her, and to deal with her mother afterwards.

He clasped his hands together, took a deep breath and in one quick breath, told her.

"Those 30,000 votes for Peter were fraud."

"I…," Alicia couldn't process what she had just heard. To be honest, she knew she had still been thinking of a way to get her mother there and how to punish her, so she had only listened halfheartedly. But wholeheartedly or not, she heard him and could not conceal her surprise.

"What?" She shook her head, "Will, you've got to tell me more than just that."

He sighed, "Kalinda found a video, Jim Moody carried that box of votes in. I'm not sure if he acted on his own, I don't think Peter and Eli were aware."

Alicia didn't know how to react. So she just answered with another question.

"And you showed it to Peter? He told you not to tell the judge?"

"No, he told me it was my choice, actually."

Alicia stared at him. Right then, she honestly didn't understand.

"So why didn't you bring it to the judge?"

At this, Will visibly tensed and fiddled with his hands a bit before deciding to answer.

"I didn't want to hurt you."

Alicia grimaced and bit her lip, lacking a response, any response.

"Will…" As she trailed off, she realized that despite all her other feelings, gratefulness, sadness, longing, she was still confused.

"Will, why…why are you telling me this right now?"

Again, he looked down at his hands before meeting her eyes.

"I…you just seemed so certain when you said you wanted to break your ties with me. And I thought getting everything out here would help us both move on, so…so I'm getting everything out here."

Alicia felt tears forming in her eyes but forced them back down. Did he really think she was certain? Did he really not see through her act that night? Or was this his way of officially ending everything with her? She couldn't figure it out. So she settled with improvising, or lying, again.

"I understand. Thanks for telling me, Will."

He nodded with a small and hesitant smile, and then it was back to how they had started their conversation – silence.

Finally though, he seemed to not be able to suppress his curiosity anymore.

"Don't you feel angry, Alicia? Or the least bit pissed?"

She shrugged and shook her head, "No, I guess I don't," she sighed, "I don't think I even know how to feel anymore."

"Don't say that, Alicia."

"Why not? It's true, Will."

At that, Will had no answer. She knew that he was just like her, most likely even number than she was, and that it was from all that she'd done to him. It hurt to think of that, even more than she had imagined. So she stood up and decided to end the conversation.

"Well, thanks again for telling me Will. And, honestly Will, I'm sorry." For the second time, she felt tears prickling and this time, really threatening to spill out. So she immediately turned around and walked out the café.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait, I was kind of busy. But I hope you like this :)**

* * *

**Chapter 7**

Alicia slammed her apartment door shut, threw her car keys on the table, and tossed her bag on the couch. She knew it was of way too unnecessary force, but she didn't care. She didn't care if her kids were home and could hear her. It was odd - she had always been very careful to protect her kids from things in her life that they didn't need to know about. But right then, the anger she felt at her mother made every other emotion or caution she could possibly have seem tiny in comparison.

The strength of the fury she felt burning inside of her was also quite surprising for what she had told Will was the truth. It _had_ been ages since she could feel properly and it was true that she didn't know how to react to Peter's fraud votes. But apparently, when it came to her mother's meddling, that didn't apply. She could most definitely feel. Strongly.

Stalking off to the kitchen, she opened the liquor cabinet and not even attempting to calm herself or to be quieter, she popped the cork and it flew halfway across the counter. She spared it one quick glance before reaching into the sink and pulling out a wine glass from the huge pile of unwashed dishes. She then rinsed it quickly and sighed as it hit her that those dishes must be loaded into the dishwasher sometime.

So when her wine glass was full and she had taken two small savoring sips, she walked slowly back to the sink, and after propping her hands on the counter and resting her head in them for a second, she bent down, opening the dishwasher and one by one, she loaded the dishes and glasses into it.

Alicia knew that this effort to calm herself before calling her mother would probably be in vain and in the end, she'd just be exhausted, in addition to angry and frustrated. And yet, there was no other way, so she contented herself to do this menial task before letting it all out.

A few minutes later, after Alicia had pushed the start button on the dishwasher and retreated slowly back to the couch with her wine, she reached for her bag and pulled out her phone. To her surprise, she did feel somewhat calmer. But as she scrolled down and saw her mother's name on her screen, she jumped slightly and it seemed like all that anger she had just fought to suppress just came bubbling up all over again.

Without hesitating even slightly, she pressed the dial button and when the call went through, she refused to allow her mother to greet her with her usual pleasantries.

"Mom, you talked to Will. Why?" Alicia wasn't screaming, but it was only because she was aware that it didn't do a fat lot of good with her mother. Instead, she settled for sounding as angry as she felt, which was pretty damn angry all right.

She heard a pause on the other line and then heard the unmistakable sound of people yelling and very loud music. Pulling the phone from her ear, she checked the time. With a sigh she thought, _of course Veronica's at a bar, it's eight thirty on a Friday. _

"Oh hello, Alicia dear. How are you doing?"

"Mom, I'm not in the mood for small talk." Alicia used her best warning voice but when she sensed her mother was about to open her mouth again, she continued, frustrated.

"Yes, mom, the weather in Chicago's fine."

"How –"

"And yes, mom, Zach and Grace are fine."

Silence. Alicia shook her head; her mother was always so predictable. Trying to avoid her questions by asking about stupid things like these. But this time, Alicia wouldn't play along.

"Mother, answer my question. What did you talk to Will about? Did I not make myself clear enough?"

"Oh, about that," Veronica paused before speaking again, of course in that irritable tone of hers, "Alicia, technically, you asked me not to talk to Peter. You never said anything about Will."

"Mom—" This time, Alicia did yell.

And Veronica, sensing her daughter was seriously angry, quickly found a way out.

"Your brother's here with me, I think he'd like to talk to you. I'm just going to give my phone to him now…"

As Alicia faintly heard her mother talking to Owen and Owen protesting before being dragged to her phone, she couldn't help but yell her mother's name again. But it was in vain of course – For all Alicia knew, her mother had already gone to the other side of the bar, flirting with the bartender.

"Ughh." Exasperated, Alicia threw her head back on the couch, impatiently waiting for her brother to speak.

"Alicia, hi…" Owen said, in his usual cheerful tone, but if Alicia searched beneath that tone, which she did, she could find that he was completely confused by the situation.

"Hi Owen. Can you please get mom?"

"Um, no, sis. She's halfway across the bar flirting with a bartender. I'm not going over there." _Yes_, Alicia sighed, _Veronica really was very predictable_.

"Well then, Owen. I guess I'll just have to release my anger on you instead."

"Wait, what?"

Alicia chuckled at Owen's alarm - Her whole family was predictable.

"OK, sis, I'm walking towards mom right now. I'll get her for you if you promise you won't –"

Suddenly, Alicia heard him stop talking and stop walking.

"Owen, what is it?"

"Oh my God, now she's _making out_ with the bartender. OK now I'm _definitely_ not going any closer."

Alicia visibly cringed at the thought of her mother making out with the bartender. She felt a shiver down her spine and thanked God she wasn't there with her brother.

"Eww, ok, now they've climbed on top of the bar. Jeez, I feel so embarrassed, sis. Everyone's staring at them –"

"Owen! Enough." Alicia couldn't let him continue, because if he did, her anger would soon completely disappear and this conversation would turn to something else entirely.

"OK sis. What was it you wanted to talk to mom about anyway?"

"She talked to Will, Owen. On the night of my interview with Charlie Rose. After our conversation about what would happen if she continues messing with my life, she talked to Will…"

She paused, waiting for Owen's reaction. But she didn't expect what she heard from his mouth the next second.

"Oh um, yeah, that, of course."

"You knew about this, Owen?" Alicia suddenly felt herself sit up straight. "Oh my God, were you two in this together?"

"Oh, no. No, Alicia, no. I would never," Owen rushed to assure her, and if it was meant to make her feel better, it did work, until he said what he said next.

"Besides, I'm not on Will's team anymore. Peter really has –"

"OK, Owen. We are not having this conversation again. It's really getting quite boring, don't you think?"

"Uh…"

"So how come you knew about this, Owen?"

"Mom told me."

"She…what? OK, what exactly did she say to Will?"

"Oh, I don't know. I think she told him about Peter asking you to renew your vows –"

Alicia couldn't resist interrupting. "Which she wouldn't have even known about if it weren't for you."

Owen chuckled, "Tell me you're still not mad at me for that, sis."

"Can't do that. Returning to topic, what else did she say to him?"

"Well, I may have let slip that you still have feelings for him, so you can imagine –"

"Which I don't. Owen, how could you do this to me? Is this your way of punishing me for one kiss?"

Silence.

"It was just one kiss!" This time, Alicia pretty much just yelled into her phone.

"I'm sorry sis, I've got to go." Owen's voice sounded somewhat far away. Immediately after, the phone buzzed a bit and the call ended.

Alicia sighed exasperatedly, closed her eyes and just sat, head leaning on the back of the couch, for a second. That is, until she heard the unmistakable sound of a door opening.

She turned quickly towards it, alarmed, and there was her daughter. She opened her mouth to speak but no sound came out. And then, another door opened and there was her son.

"Grace, Zach…" She looked down at her hands and bit her lips. "I didn't know you were home."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"Mom? What was that all about?"

Alicia stared at her kids, both walking over and settling on the couch casually. Exhausted, she rubbed her temples with her fingers and told Grace to wait just a moment, needing to get away, even for just a second.

She walked over to the kitchen, took out a glass from the cabinet and turned on the water tap, despite the fact that she wasn't thirsty at all. As she watched the water slowly filling the glass, she mentally kicked herself for being so careless. How could she have not checked if her kids were home?

When her glass was full, and she had told herself numerous times to calm down as the damage was already done, she walked back to the couch, not at all looking forward to the conversation she was about to have.

And she definitely wasn't disappointed, since the second she felt her body making contact with the couch, her daughter started pounding her with questions.

"Mom? Please say something. What was all that about? I'm so confused..."

Alicia put her glass of water down and gazed from her daughter to her son. Under other circumstances, she would have grinned at how easily Zach mastered his poker face; she would have laughed, thinking how it was definitely genetic. Her daughter, however, was all bright-eyed and expectant. And that was why she sighed softly and asked the requisite question for this conversation.

"Grace," pausing, she turned some of her attention to Zach, " Zach, how much did you hear?"

Grace didn't answer, so with a glance at his sister, Zach cleared his throat.

"We heard you talking to grandma, and then with Uncle Owen."

_Great_, Alicia thought, _so basically everything_. Admittedly, it was stupid of her, but she had been clinging to the small strand of possibility that her kids hadn't heard as much as she feared.

"Zach, Grace, I'm so sorry. I –" She paused for a second, not knowing what to say. And suddenly she was reminded of how David Lee had laughed at her when she had gotten tongue-tied during their first deposition on opposite sides of the table. Shaking her head slightly, she bit her lip and continued.

"If you heard all of that, then you can probably put the pieces together." She swallowed before saying what she said next, and it hit her that if her kids knew her like Will Gardner did, right then would've been the time they realized she was going to lie.

"That's the whole story."

Alicia unclasped her fingers and risked a glance at her kids. Zach was looking a bit dubious, but he wasn't saying anything. And Grace, Grace just seemed confused, like she wanted to say something but at the same time, didn't. Finally, she opened her mouth and shrugged as if to show she didn't really care, though of course she did.

"Mom, I think…I just want to hear it from you."

"I don't know what to say, Grace. You already know everything there is to this story. There was one kiss between Will and I. It was a weak moment, and I'm really sorry, Grace, it definitely won't hap—"

"What about grandma? She talked to Will? What was that about?" Grace leaned forward and seemed intent on getting a satisfactory answer. But Alicia had no idea how to give her that, and that was why she scolded herself once again for not making sure if her kids were home when she called Veronica.

"You know how your grandmother is, Grace. She just –"

Alicia saw her daughter shake her head, and it was quite obvious that she was ignoring what her mother had just said and had instead, moved forward to a new question.

"But why, mom? WHY would grandma want to talk to Will? I don't get it."

Alicia fiddled with her hands and looked at her glass of water, still full. This was the question she had been dreading all along. How could she answer it truthfully without telling her daughter about the affair? She glanced at Zach, who, not entirely to her surprise, looked like he knew the answer to his sister's question.

Zach was smart, Alicia had always known that. And thus, she had probably accepted the fact that he had some suspicions about the true nature of her relationship with her ex-boss, however inaccurate or different from reality. She'd been relieved that he was mature enough to handle it and had always been quite sure that he'd keep his vague ideas to himself.

And right then, she was incredibly grateful when Zach suddenly sat straight and came to her rescue, saving her from that goddamn question.

"Mom, do you still love Dad?"

Alicia and Zach both knew this question was something Grace always loved to ask, and as expected, her daughter's attention immediately shifted from her previous question to this.

"Yes. Do you, Mom?"

"Well, Grace. You know Dad's done things to hurt me," Alicia paused, and refrained from rolling her eyes. This was her answer each and every time to that question and she couldn't help but wonder if her kids ever got tired of hearing it. It seemed that Zach had made peace with the fact that his parents weren't as loving to each other as they used to be, a few years ago. As for Grace though, Alicia couldn't be sure. Surely, she didn't buy it every single time, did she? _It _was_ hard for a mother to figure out exactly what was going on in her teenage daughter's head_, thought Alicia.

But before Alicia could continue pondering, her daughter spoke again.

"That was so long ago though, Mom. Now he's Governor and…," she trailed off for a moment and shifted in her seat. "Can't you forgive him? I mean, it's just been such a long time and now things are better, aren't they? Dad hasn't done anything wrong recently, has he?"

Now, Alicia really looked at her daughter and visibly tensed. The answer to that last question would require a straight-out lie, no cleverly twisting around the truth like she did everyday as a lawyer.

So she sighed and as sincerely as she could, said, "No, Grace, he hasn't. It's just…," _Quick_, she told herself_, a pretext._

"It's just that these wounds take time to heal, Grace."

Alicia almost frowned at herself. This was the lamest explanation she'd come up with for a while. She bit her lip, hoping Grace wouldn't sense her insecurity. As much as Alicia didn't want to be dishonest to her kids, she realized then that she would have to get a lot better at this.

She was so busy thinking about this that she didn't even see Zach raise his eyebrows ever so slightly at his mother's pathetic answer. And even if she did see, she would have dismissed it quickly. She couldn't know that Zach had formed an inkling of his own after this conversation, much less that he would do something to settle his mind from this inkling. Alicia Florrick had absolutely no idea that her son could see through her lies almost as well as Will Gardner could.

* * *

**A/N: I'm so sorry for the late update! I know it's been almost a month since I last updated but I'm trying my best :) I'm moving from Beijing to Palo Alto (a town near San Francisco) so you could say that's been taking quite a lot of my time. I actually just arrived in Palo Alto a few hours ago, and I'm staying at a friend's house at the moment. There's a lot of stuff I have to do here so I can't promise anything either :(**

**Well anyway, I found the time to finish this chapter on the plane ride here and even though it might be kind of a boring filler chapter, I hope you enjoyed it! :)**


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